Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you didnt know i had herpes?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
