the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
