People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize