you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Randomize
