:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize