Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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