sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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