Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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