it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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