is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
