you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
