I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
