You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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