How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
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