just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
