You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
