I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think I sprained my soul last night
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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