I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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