You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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