I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
