how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I could have mohawked her pubes.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
