What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
