...so i touched it.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
