is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
