So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize