Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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