Don't you send me to vm
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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