Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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