I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
