My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
