yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
