i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
