Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
