I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
