pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
