Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize