He is such a slut. More and more my type.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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