I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize