He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
