I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
