office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
