I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
