I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
