how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
