pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
