lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
