Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
