im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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