i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
