whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
sex in a hospital.. check
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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