So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
