Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
