Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
