Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
