They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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