how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
