Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
