This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
