Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
