Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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