Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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