don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
