All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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