hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
