I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
she peed on how many people?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
